A Lifetime

By tomorrow i won't be able to speak.
Life is fleeting from my lungs,
I fear i won't have time to say goodbye. 
Farewell to the only friend i've ever known,
So long to the world which now dominates me. 
I leak a solemn goodbye 
As my eyes go wet
And my throat runs dry. 

This is the time when i regret every moment wasted,
Every second i spent,
Every tear i wept upon you. 

It is now that i realize 
A true friend wouldn't allow it, 
You won't let me go, 
And i don't mind.
You remind me what its like to feel safety. 
Secure in your mind as well as your voice. 
Remain in this foreign place i call home.
Remain in your arms, where i don't belong.
Remain in your thoughts, in your history and tomorrow,
Remain by your side forever. 

As my last words escape me 
I wonder,
Was that enough?
How will i ever explain to him 
How my heart beats solely for him,
If i've only got a few hours to cherish.
You are my forever, 
And now it has taken a lifetime to prove
What i've said in three seconds,
I love you. 

Loudly Dreaming

I cant remember a time of more happiness
Than this moment we're experiencing now. 
We sway together, 
Side by side. 
Disco balls provide moonlight. 
And we dance.
We dance;
It's a simple as that. 
A silent bass runs through us,
Vibrating our bodies to the same invisible beat. 
For something so magical, 
This is far from make believe. 
There is no concept of time,
In this world of you and me. 
Only helping hands and hearts
As you will me off to sleep. 
Good night,
And I hope your dreams are sweet. 

To Say Goodbye

To think, one day we were friends.
What happened to our so called "happy end"?
Why did you leave without a clue?
What happened to always, me and you?

I realize you don't care,
But you want me to.
Why must you continue walking,
Dragging me behind you by the neck.

Maybe if I wanted to go,
Civil disobedience wouldn't be so prevalent.
But drag me behind you as you must,
I'll lie on the floor where you left me.

You've moved on,
But you want them all.
I've removed you from my life,
But not so far.

You're as bad as my past,
As sinister as he once was.
And now you look like him.
You've morphed into someone I don't recognize.
You've changed in your head;
You've changed in my eyes.

Why must you make it so hard
To say goodbye?

Mistake

Sitting in a black abiss,
Just so i can't see myself cry.
I hear the gasping,
An infinite sigh.
I hear an inaudible splash,
As tears run down my cheeks
And land in my lap. 
A burning sensation inside of my chest, 
A buring sensation that consumes all the rest.
When i thought your trust was the only thing strong,
How could you slap me and tell me i'm wrong?
How could I be so wrong? 

Jealous Much?

Sting and burn.
Words slice into my pupils.
A knife in Times New Roman,
The curl of the "K" digs too deep.
Somewhere that never bleeds.
Your key digs deep into my eye,
The sparkle turns red,
The girl inside dies.

When suffocation was my issue,
I never thought I'd feel this green.
And when the air was forced from my lungs,
I never knew I'd miss it,
When you took my breath away.
And the girl inside dies.

Honesty is so difficult,
Why can't I be honest
When my heart falls upon this subject,
My heart falls to the floor.
And the girl inside dies.

In a strangers arms,
My scared eyes traverse the room.
I remeber that face,
I remember you.
And the girl inside died.

Poetry Reading at Local Library on 9.23.11

Only half of the poem got recorded, but I read Deteriorate. I hope you enjoy it!

Choke; for Turning Blue

Don't you see you're suffocating me?
Grabbing hold of my throat;
Blurring everything i see. 
I can't speak.
They walk past,
And forget they ever knew me.

If i had the air,
Then i would scream
"help! He's suffocating me!"
"Somebody please, set me free."

Gender for me was never "he" or "she",
It was a world of only equality.
Now you've taken that from me,
And i can't be friendly.

You with your green jealousy,
A sinful type of envy.
You're suffocating me. 
Taking the air from within me.
You won't let me breathe.