Poetry Reading at Local Library on July 29th 2011

Danny (of WayRandomDan.blogspot.com) filmed me reading My Soldier, My Hero, My Love and Sink or Fade at the library in my town. I met a lot of very intelligent and influential people while I was there and my poetry was praised. It means a lot to me to have such amazing fans and I hope I can continue to inspire you all with my poetry! I owe it all to you!

Get Lower

I'm sorry, but i won't stoop to your level. 
Try to take me down from the inside out?
Make me feel alone, when i had nobody to begin with? 
Let's face it, you're addicted to the drama. 
You're nothing like me, you're exactly like your momma. 
You wish he was still your friend, 
But hes with me till the end. 
You left and you burned the bridges leading back to me, 
Good luck swimming back, when you're stranded out at sea. 
You're not the girl you used to be. 
It feels good to say goodbye to someone i don't need. 
You've always been out to get me. 

Letting Go

Admirable;
You're ahead of the crowd
With a voice so loud 
You stand up for what's right
And you never let them get you down.

You know what's best, 
Even if it hurts you. 
You take the pain 
To benefit the rest.

You let yourself cry
Even if you're a guy.
I admire you for it, 
Because you're stronger than I.

The Rocket

I have a bad feeling swelling within my chest.
I have a bad feeling about this.
You and your sinister ways,
You and your stupid tricks.
I've been hurting for days,
And now you're just playing games. 
You're searching for him, 
But you're aiming to kill me. 
I just miss simplicity,
I just miss feeling free. 
Erase the fear from within my eyes,
And maybe she won't cause my demise. 
Maybe i can avoid you all,
Especially you with your decadent lies. 

Unfamiliar Territory

I remove my clothing. 
I step into the shower. 
In a few minutes i will walk out. 
I will be dripping wet. 

I dry off with a cheap towel i probably bought earlier in the year. 
I put on night clothes. 
I stare into the mirror.
Today, i know it's me. 
Tomorrow i won't recognize this person. 

I lay awake, 
In fear of what dreams may await me
Just past my concious, 
Just past the familiar lull of sleep. 
I don't know who i'll be tomorrow.
I don't know where i'll be. 
All i know is that this realm is the last i'll see.
Strangely, that doesn't bother me. 

Maybe tomorrow i won't wake up.
Maybe i've decided i've had enough. 
Maybe tomorrow i will be you, 
In that case,
What will you do? 
Who will you be, 
If i am you?
Will you be me?
Good luck surviving tomorrow,
With feet planted in foriegn shoes. 

Not a Days Notice

You left again
Without a word
You said hello yesterday;
The best welcome i've heard. 
Sometimes i find it hard to take,
You come and go, 
With a welcome hello
And an unheard goodbye.
Couldn't you give me some notice next time? 

What happened to my best friend?
The one on which i could always rely?
Where has he been lately?
I miss that guy. 
Sometimes i wonder;
Will these words ever fall beneath your caring eye?
Will you see my tears
And regret never saying goodbye?
You're gone now,
Will you ever come back into my life? 

My song keeps circling my mind. 
"Why am i tryin'?
When will i stop cryin'?
Am i really dyin'?"
I just keep pleading;
Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.
Where'd you go?

Normal Human Reaction

Curled into a ball, 
Falling an infinite distance.
You crawled from the corner, 
Snuck past in the blink of an eye. 
Never would you have escaped on intention.
You trickled down slowly,
Then found a peak. 
From there your fall was imminent. 
From there you fell far. 
With a crash, 
An inaudible splash;
They all soon follow your lead. 

Cleo

My dog is dying. I've known since i was little that her death was imminent, but today; watching her, it became a reality. Watching my dog, with her matted fur and blind eyes pace slowly across the kitchen floor. Then it hit me; she's going to die, and it's going to be soon. So should i cry for my dogs death? Should i celebrate her life? Should i be happy that she is no longer suffering?
Death will steal upon us all one day. It will climb our limbs and drag us downward at a pace that varys for each of us. Some will struggle for life as the claws of death wrap themselves around our bodies; pulling us imminently downward. Some will embrace death and fall willingly captive to her talons. Some will struggle, and some will hardly notice. Death is a reality. Death is the most honest part of our existance. 
Some will have the oppourtunity to say a solemn farewell, or drop hints to the few loved ones remaining. Others will simply disappear, leaving yesterday as only a memory and tomorrow with nothing for them but a whole world droning on without their presence. 
My dog is dying. She stumbles on the floors she once frolicked upon. She slowly saunters through the grass that she once rejoiced with each visit. She dosn't notice when the cats, who were once a playful enemy, slowly creep by her, still careful to keep their distance. My dog no longer sees the world. She no longer sees her reflection on the bottom of the water dish, or her sister Ginger as she sneeks up behind her. She no longer sees the doors swing open, or the food drop to the floor during meal time. 
In all reality, my dog has been dying since the day she was born. Wasting away her life in a loving home, and spending her time playing in a huge yard which was out of reach due to the restriant of her leash. When my dog dies, the leashes will cease to exist. The collar will fall from her neck. She will frolick in her yard again. She will run after her feline playmates. She will not be limited by the kitchen door. She can have as many treats as she wants. My dog is dying; soon she will be dead. I've had many years to deal with this inevitable fact, but the lapse of time makes it no easier. My dog is dying, but she is my friend for a lifetime. I'll always have her, my children will know her name. My dog is dying, but in tomorrow she will live forever. By tomorrow, yesterday leaves us only memories. My dog is dying. 

Too Soon to Catch My Breath

Too soon to inhale, 
My first breath stings my lungs.
I begin to choke on something i never saw coming.
An invisible bullet peirces my chest.
It enters my lungs 
After puncturing my breast.
I heave a sigh, 
Heavier than before.
What am i exhailing for?
I was breathing easy until this moment, 
My deep breath encased my lungs with invisible life, 
Each time i breathe life into me,
I choke and stumble,
It becomes harder and harder to let it in, 
Less and less life is entering my chest. 
Soon will there be any life left? 

Inhale:Exhale

It's like breathing for the first time.
Your kiss instils my once dead rhyme.
You wake me from a shallow trance, 
You play music as our eyes dance. 
I wonder "are you thinking of my lips?" 
You prove me right with a simple kiss.
A smile returns to my heart.
A once-dead fire kindles its start. 
Things changed when you had to leave,
But today reminds me to believe.
Finally; its been a week,
But today i can breathe. 

Just One Kiss

In sleeping beauty, beauty only needed a simple kiss to wake her from her trance. 
Juliet fell in love after just one dance. 
A happy summer with my prince,
And i've been in love ever since. 
I dont need a slipper made of glass,
Because your love i could never surpass. 
I'll wake tomorrow,
There'll be no trace, 
And a simple kiss;
It's all that i ask. 
Save us from our undying passions,
You fell before for glamor and fashion, 
Return to reality,
Just admit it;
You'll always love me.

The Meaning of Life

Love. 
It's a theory that was created by someone, when?
They created it to give people a reason to live, right?
We're all walking this earth looking for a mate. 
We all fear dying alone, 
Maybe my thought is revolutionary;
I am not afraid of dying alone, 
(I'd prefer it that way)
But i am afraid of living alone,
Although it's probably safer that way.

Love is a theory. 
Its exsistence is questionable. 
Love is firey, 
As well as hate.
I feel no fire,
Nothing red inside me burns.
I love none, 
And i cannot hate.
If love and hate are both feelings of passion and fire,
Are love and hate the same?
Can you hate someone you love(d)?
Can you love someone you hate(d)?
Do love and hate even exist?
Like heaven and hell;
It depends who you ask.

So why are we living?
If we're all living for love
And we're all falling into hate.
If these theories don't exist, 
Are we living just to play the game?

Do we circle the board,
Around and around, 
Try to make money, 
Try not to sell out, 
Never caring if the ones around you win or lose,
But never winning the game yourself. 

So if there is no love,
No hate, 
No winning the game;
Why are we here?
What is the point?

If there is no heaven,
No hell,
Only sky;
Where are we going?
Where are we now?

How can i live every day like it's my last, 
If i don't know what i'm living for?
Inside i know my heart is beating, 
You could cut me open and see that with your own two eyes,
But where is my soul?
Where are my thoughts?
Where does love come from,
If it exists?
What am i doing here? 
Am i as revolutionary as i think?
What is my purpose? 
Whats the point?

Click, Buckle Up

A long ride,
A sick, twisted road.
A pointless journey.
Buckle your seat belts.
You're bound to crash.
Don't let them get you.
Don't let them catch you.
They scream through the glass,
Their words don't sting anymore.
Haters will hate.
One click and you're safe.
Buckle up,
And deactivate.

Picture Edit of "Right Under My Nose"

Vulnerability

Saunter down a crowded hallway.
Wear only your tears,
Which eventually will also fall to the floor.
Vulnerable, walk slowly.
Head forward, hands grasping at nothing.
They stare.
Look down.
Forward.
Step one, two.
Turn.
See a nameless face.
Turn again.
Walk away.
Step one, two.
They look,
They touch.
Walk forward.
Flesh peels,
Revealing new vulnerabilities.
Your skin no longer protects you
From their limitless parasites.
They look,
They grab.
Taking organs,
Bones.
Blood trails behind you,
A legacy is something you leave behind.
A stain;
My legacy.
As my femur is taken from my body,
I collapse.
I know who you are,
You made me fall.
Keep the same lifeless face.
Drag your body with your arms.
Forward.
Fighting.
They no longer see you,
You lie on the floor.
Some trip,
Some stumble.
They trample you.
You can't go on any longer.