Reminiscing on Yesterday's Goodbye

I sat on the floor

With tears in my eyes,

Grasping your leg 

As you shook me goodbye. 

You dragged me out to sea, 

And by the time I got back

There was nothing left of me 

But gray skies carried in a lackluster sack. 

Wrapped around your leg I sat, 

Holding onto something real,

But regardless of reality, 

Your foot was the only thing I could steal. 

So you shook and you clamored 

Until I lost my grip, 

And out to sea you threw me,

Upon a sinking ship. 

The Pain of Perfection

If I am the impromptu text at 2:46am, 

He's the perfect reply at exactly 9:30. 

If I cannot any longer bear to wait 

To hear the words that seal our fate,

He cannot help but string me along

Like his words are a breathless, beautiful song. 

The wait entices me to shut him out

To forget the night I'd been dreaming about. 

It tells me that he's not really there, 

Like it was a lie to speak of his care. 

I fear that he places them on various pages 

Analyzing how their angles cause changes 

In the depth and the power 

Of the words that once fell sour

Upon weepy eyes 

Who garnered selfish surprise

Hung from doorknobs at midnight, 

Reading again and again despite

The pain that ensued each stoke of my angry pen. 

Spilling onto paper thoughts I'd never send. 

Fate works in peculiar patterns, 

Filling holes that never seemed to matter 

And fighting demons that were hidden

Beneath sheets and sanity ridden 

By men and by backs of knives

Whose sting reminds her she's 

Already alive. 

Unwanted

I am not the rain on a tin roof, 

I am a blanket that never keeps your feet warm at night. 

I am the uneven barstool at 2 am, 

And the kiss that doesn't quite feel right. 

I am not stuck between a rock and a hard place,

I am dancing with strangers in a sold out show 

I am that corner where nobody goes. 

I am not dancing on the rooftop, 

I am a breakdown in a silent room, 

Where everyone seems to be watching you. 

I am not the beautiful freckled redhead,

I am the mess of tangled madness 

And the chaos emanates from my eyes. 

You can see my madness in your surmise

I can see your fear that strikes you in the drive 

I can feel the want against my thighs 

As the anger builds for each of his failed tries. 

Forward Thinking

I see the bridges burning in the background;
A playlist to a life that did not live.

Wasting time waiting at the crossroads
For a train with no tracks.

Nothing left but ashes and attachments.
They mean nothing in the mirror
And less in the mind.
I realize you're left behind.

The bridges have been burned,
And tables have turned.
You lost your way
And I'm here to stay.

Interchangeable

Commodified curiosities

Living in The Now

Losing yourself to Everything

And laughing at the ground.

Maybe I have lost it

In the lives of boys 

And the toils of men.

Maybe it all boils down to

When it starts and where it ends.

Maybe I have blurred the lines 

And lost the ones 

That bless broken shrines. 

Maybe I have lost the ones

That break me down 

In business that binds. 

Maybe I have lost myself 

To living in boxes 

And trusting trolls. 

Maybe I've found my place 

In cardboard clouds 

Under broken bridges of stone. 

Only time will tell 

Where we are:

How far from hell. 

And only time will see us through

The cardboard boxes that befell. 

Cancellation

I can't change my hair to match your mood

It can't be shades of red or blue. 

I can't be older to follow you;

My age is something only I pursue. 

We whispered vows in the night 

That kept me alive 

And when life got crazy- 

As lives will do- 

You went on your way: 

Not to adjust, just to renew. 

Gifted and Misused

The wind kisses your cheek

And carries your cologne

Down streets and alleys 

It doesn't belong. 

And bruises the bones

Of neighbors and clones 

And steals the souls 

Of forgotten trolls.

She dances and whispers 

Of British beauty

And wears scarves and scents 

Of a stranger's home. 

Unseen by mirrors 

The wind dances within your heart

And steals the silence

Of another's depart. 

And though we don't belong, 

And though I've grown too strong

I can't help but wish 

For a love that's so wrong.